Your Baby v. The Law
Nothing's working! The odds are great that it's just a matter of time before your child—your baby—is picked up by somebody with a badge. You are totally frustrated with trying to conceal your teen's bad behavior from the rest of the family, your co-workers, friends and the neighbors. You are tired of making excuses. You are exhausted. You are worried that you have lost complete control and that your troubled teenager has taken to the streets. At the onset, your troubled teenager's first offense is easy to ignore. It is likely to be a minor offense, a status offense like curfew violation, truancy (from school) or loitering. Those should be the first red flags and they should not be ignored. Don't think that that one-time curfew violation is going to scare him straight, transforming him miraculously into a model citizen. Or that that the minor traffic violation won't be used as background in a subsequent more serious matter. “Yes, Your Honor,” pleads the district attorney five years from now, peering down at your son, now a 200-pound, 20-year-old man-child, who is charged with being an accessory to a late-night armed robbery, “Joey has in the past shown a flagrant disregard for curfew and traffic laws and therefore…” See what I mean. Five years before it was just a misdemeanor; now it's a felony that your child is facing. What you need to understand is that whatever the offense, the charges are serious and deserve your undivided attention. Perhaps now's the time to skip to What Part of “Serious” Don't Kids Understand? Even if you have the bucks to hire a $500-an-hour Beverly Hills attorney to stand up for your child, much of his defense will depend on his attitude and your willingness to do your homework. If you know that the kid is guilty of the crime with which he's been charged (judging by the evidence, the police report and your child's personal confession to you) use your good common sense before you take on the government. Please understand; any minor infraction can send your troubled teenager spiraling through the criminal justice system. There is no mystery to understanding the law. It is only a mystery why more of us parents don't avail themselves of this information. [This is the Information Age, right?] The codes that comprise the laws of this country spell out what a violation is and all of the consequences. You will discover all of the codes in A Citizen's Guide to Codes. If you suspect that your troubled teenager is engaged in dangerous behavior that could land him behind bars, find the code that corresponds to the legal "remedies" and read it aloud to him or her. Be sure to spend some quality time explaining the penalties for the applicable violation(s). But if your kid is already in trouble with the law, is it better to stay ignorant or to know what he's facing? Maybe you'd rather let the court tell you. If your child is already in trouble or headed down that path, your goal should be: 1. To show your kid that you know what you're talking about; 2. To get one up on your kid's homies who are telling him that you are crazy; [Visit Delinquency Turns To Tragedy and feel some of the dire consequences of Hangin' with the Homies], and 3. To scare the life back into him. [Lord knows, your child doesn't realize that that he or she is throwing their’s away.] Tragic stories are being needlessly repeated thousands of times a year across the country because of the company our kids are keeping. Rebelliousness and stupidity have put many an otherwise innocent teenager behind bars. Most troubled teens don't have a clue about the concepts of conspiracy or accessory, no less are they able to apply those abstract concepts to their own lives. If pitted against their homeboys or homegirls, their answer is always “yes.” In the interest of your troubled teenager's survival, I hope you'll spend a few moments visiting these tragic tales of teens in big trouble: Sean's Sad Story Innocence As A Death Sentence Jake's Big Mistake